Sunday, January 4, 2009

Not now, I'm meditating

Maybe not, but I should be. And while we're on the subject I should be breathing more. More often, more deeply, more slowly and with more intent. One the greatest delights and pleasures of my martial arts training was learning how to meditate, and in my current practice I greatly miss doing so. At my old dojo, we stopped as a group to meditate before every class, and some classes were nothing but 30 minutes to an hour of meditation. And although my current instructor expects us to be quiet and mentally prepare for each class when we arrive, we don't actively practice this as a group. And, I miss that experience.

Nothing can replace that moment of quiet, stillness you experience. It really is one of the sweetest things I've known, and doing so at home just doesn't even come close. When I am here I think more about cleaning or chores, or just sitting and relaxing and even if I do sit and try to meditate I'm interrupted. By my thoughts, by noises and by the cats.

They either circle quite close, or try to climb into my lap or sit nearby trying to figure out just what I'm doing (i.e. heavy kitty breathing in the dark). I know that this is an opportunity to go deeper, to focus more, and let go of my surroundings but it doesn't happen. It doesn't happen simply because I do not practice at home. So, I need to make that focus, a goal, an accomplishment for the year. And, I will.

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